Romance is a substantial element of a happy and fulfilled life, and a building block of a mature relationship. People are willing to do wonders in the name of romance, which, consequently brings quality and mature relationship in one’s life.

At least that’s what we usually expect. Unfortunately, as life can present quite roughly sometimes, maximum effort can easily backfire and lead to rejections, break-ups and potentially bring other numerous negative outcomes and consequences. Even if it doesn’t, it rarely – if ever – leads to a long, happy and prosperous relationship.

Making great efforts per se, is not necessarily beneficial. In order to realize what is the right direction to point the effort to, what is the necessary steps to take in order to enjoy a mature relationship, there are few factors to consider.

The Obvious Guide To Mature Relationship: The Steps

– Goal –

First, it must be clear that the goal – a mature relationship – is the same for both partners. This takes honesty, but not only in words. It takes actions which display mature behavior and making common decisions. Exploring each other’s passions and weak spots. Not with intent to abuse, but cherish, protect and fight for them. Because, as the wise proverb says a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, our weak spots and vulnerabilities make who we are.

Also, contrary to what the hormones propagate, regular, or even frequent sex can by no means be a sole sign for, or a way to a mature relationship. The concept of mature relationship may be founded on pure sexual attraction, but it must be able to conquer the other realms successfully.

– Meaning –

Next, the definition of a mature relationship. As people grow older, our flaws are being emphasized naturally. Meaning, as we grow older, it’s better for us to also grow wiser, because making impulsive and emotional decisions is not always the best option, whether trying to solving domestic economic problems or complicated family issues. On the contrary, it will most likely backfire and complexify the problems.

Knowing this, we can start shaping the definition of mature relationship. Focusing on the higher goal and making reasonable, long-term solutions. Thinking as a team, rather than as two individuals trying to achieve the infamous compromise. Jealousy, obsession and romantic policing are a sign of an immature state of a romance. Mutual understanding reaching far beyond verbal communication. Spontaneousness in romance becomes overrated and taken out of context, unfortunately.

In a mature relationship, spontaneous romance is a product, or result, not a tool.

– Means –

So, how can a couple achieve this status? It can’t happen by itself, and it surely can’t come in time, as many would say. Well, it might sound like a cliché, but the first and basic mean to getting there is honesty. Once again, not only verbal. Honest behavior, honest actions. Testing your partner achieves nothing. It only displays the insecurities which drown the relationship. Openness to a discussion. Discussing difficult personal topics and ideas – especially those – is crucial to achieving mutual understanding. Trust is built with time and effort, not money or anything else your creative self can ever come up with.

Trust comes from knowledge, by knowing someone very well, but it’s crucial to have a fair amount of faith as well. Thus, being trusted bears responsibility not to devalue or demean your partner’s faith in you. Don’t look away from each other’s insecurities. Fill them in with the faith provided, so you will efficiently complement your partner’s character and emotional stability. That’s what mature relationship is all about.

– Conclusion: Per aspera ad astra

Nothing in life is free. Or easy. Especially relationships. It takes two differently brought-up people, with different habits and beliefs to find a common ground for building a future. Even the tiniest behavioral differences can spark an end-of-the-relationship argument. Before all the fun and joy is achieved, first learn to do the difficult things:

  • Talk and listen. Don’t respond, but discuss. Don’t convince each other, but exchange opinions.
  • Make jokes and laugh together. Build a common sense of humor based on common experiences or by sharing funny childhood experiences. It’s probably the easiest way of getting to know each other well.
  • Point out personal flaws in private, but make sure to cover for each other’s back in public by helping each other avoid situations that will expose those flaws or misunderstandings in public. These small things build mutual trust and reliance.
  • Appreciate personal freedom if you want yours appreciated. This is not just for reciprocity. It is a requirement for a healthy and mature relationship. This doesn’t mean not caring what your partner does or where they are. It simply states the obvious fact that everyone needs five minutes alone at some point in the day. Everyone needs some time alone to gather their thoughts and think clearly. It gives the relationship the very essential dose of reasoning in the discourse. Don’t take away that precious gift from each other.